Wildflower To The Core

2-15-16 As I listen to the radio at 3AM, I say, only song missing is... Wildflower. Then BAM! My tech savvy pilot pulled it up.

It continues to make me cry. Ever since it played on my way back to the mountain (after my weekly trip into town) that night. Talk about a puddle of crocodile tears. Tho, heaven sent. It played when my body began loosing steam. And rain was getting the best of my tent.

Having my mother with wings come to me my last 2 weeks, gave me the oooomph I needed. Seeing her so happy, also let me know I'd be okay. My Tata/5th guide's intro was confirmation. Said they were all cheering for me. VERY heartwarming. Several did not understand why I chose to go solo. (My About Page tells a bit). Others told me to pack up and leave. And one, when I got back told me, "what are you trying to prove?"

It's called feed your soul, not just your face. Anyways. I yearned to go there. Some property my parents bought (late 60's). My stance on western medicine and cancer, and my brother being alive 30+ years after quitting chemo and using marijuana instead? Reasons enough. However, both parents being given their death sentence from cancer? My mission.

I went to learn how to grow and make the medicinal oil from it. I succeeded in growing and harvesting, the oil not so. But for reasons I explained in that post.

Why do I mention this? Because. No matter how many times I've felt like giving up, before, during and since then. Especially sleeping in my car. I didn't. What doesn't kill you, doesn't just make you stronger. It can point you to your path. But! You gotta be willing to let go of much. When you feed your spirit, you won't need a whole lot. Including food.

Anyhow, not gonna ramble. I know I posted a link to this song, tail end of 2014. But here's the lyrics and the story behind it. Very sweet--I can relate.

Following the lyrics is a bit of a NEWSFLASH from Dr. Nicholas Gonzales, my 13th guide. Whom, I am honored to help expose what happened to him. Thus, my bodyguard. For now, these words still ring true...

WILDFLOWER She's faced the hardest times, you could imagine And many times her eyes fought back the tears And when her youthful world, was about to fall in Each time her slender shoulders Bore the weight of all her fears And a sorrow no one hears Still rings in midnight silence, in her ears Let her cry, for she's a lady Let her dream, for she's a child Let the rain fall down upon her She's a free and gentle flower, growing wild And if by chance I should held her Let me hold her for a time But if allowed just one possession I would pick her from the garden, to be mine Be careful how you touch her, for she'll awaken And sleep's the only freedom that she knows And when you walk into her eyes, you won't believe The way she's always paying For a debt she never owes And a silent wind still blows That only she can hear and so she goes Let her cry, for she's a lady Let her dream, for she's a child Let the rain fall down upon her She's a free and gentle flower, growing wild Writer/s: DOUG EDWARDS, DAVID RICHARDSON Publisher: NETTWERK MUSIC GROUP Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFindy LyricFind

After writing this, I pick up pendulum. What do I get, "that song is you." And once again by Dr. Gonzalez (he gave thumbs up on kidney post). He goes on to say...

"You are tough, but delicate. You must be careful until your bodyguard picks you up. You are on their radar again. Me: why? Because of the changing of the guards? And they know it? Dr. Gonzalez: yes. Just don't go outside more than necessary. Me: and that's why the 2 attempted attacks this past weekend? (that we'll write about in future post) Dr. Gonzalez: big yes. You are doing the right thing. Me: by posting? Dr. Gonzalez: yes Me: thank you. Dr. Gonzalez: yes. Rest now Me: but I'm safe? Just be more cautious like before? Dr. Gonzales: yes, you will be fine (as he fade) Me: thank you. I love you Dr. Gonzalez: ilusm (I love you so much)

2-17-16 Today we did final edit and he gave me title. As you can see, my guides are so good to me. They are however working overtime on my behalf. Thank God I have 30 to share the task. He being my 13th guide. One who will be on the forefront of ending corruption in western medicine.

As I run all my words by him, he says... "That's perfect."

May you be blessed to be tough enough to go the distance. And soft hearted enough to see the beauty in it. I'm glad I did. I used every ounce of energy, courage, strength, faith and hope I had, but... That's what led to my "present."

May you all be blessed as I have

Carmen