Autistic or Spiritually Awake?

It was God who told me I was autistic, which helped make sense of much. I never understood why I easily get lost with details or even a long joke. I also neither really understood politics nor had the patience to learn. Not only was I not interested, it was too much. It wasn’t until the 2016 and 2020 elections that I have begun to learn more. That, per God wanting me to understand it. I've known for some time I'm spiritually awake. It was until my second NDE in 2015 that God began speaking to me and told me I was autistic. Am I really autistic or spiritually awake. Or both? My guess is both.

On my other website I wrote about spiritual awakening having commonalities with certain ailments. You can read about those here, just type in spiritual awakening in the search bar. I believe I also wrote one about having overlapping signs and symptoms with menopause. So, there should be at least four different posts on spiritual awakening mimicking certain conditions.

I do know as a first wave Indigo, also known as a Star Child, many of those characteristics also overlap with being autistic and spiritually awake. Being an old soul, I've always just had a knowing. I get the gist of a variety of things. Of course, it helps to know light from dark. Such was the case with the last election. Sadly, I had one "friend" say I was a right wing tool and another say they felt sorry for me. Interesting, however, this is where it pays to know darkness when we see it. I did not need to understand politics to see. Lord knows I had only voted twice. I also never push what I don’t fully understand. So, it is me who could say I feel sorry for them, but I don't. No sweat off my soul. I laugh because as I write that I see God wiping his hands clean.

Without going off topic, the following slides are from one of two videos I watched from this doctor. They are two of a series she is doing on women with autism, although I'm sure many traits relate to men as well. These are some attributes of autistic women according to Dr. Kim Sage. I agree with most. I also believe just as Down's Syndrome can be a gift, autism can too. Besides, it's not what happens to us that matter, but how we respond that get God's attention.

I never understood why I pushed poetry aside until a medicine woman told me my soul left and another entered. That was my first NDE, which I vividly remember meeting God at a waterfall. I also never saw myself as intelligent until a sweet older gentleman whom I had never met told me so. That and detox did a number on my brain.

Oh how I can relate to feeling like I am from another planet. That or an era long ago. Growing up I always had one sister tell me I was adopted. She'd also ask the other four siblings, who do we all hate.

I am not easily fooled or conned, but do know the abuse is why my soul left. None of which I remember. I'll never forget the many dreams of hiding in cupboards and flying awaying with others in tow.

No imaginary friends, but plenty of friends and family in Universe now. I prefer to walk to the beat of my own drum and lead than follow, so the imitating friends has never been me. Treating friends as pawns? Not quite. I do tend to gravitate towards children and pets, while having mostly male friends. As for escaping, I've had a life of visions. That is God's way of taking my mind away, since meditation never came easy. He's a character without a flaw and takes great joy in making me laugh at the darndest times and places.

Music is my therapy/pain control and reminds me of a time when both parents were alive. That being age nine and under. Yep on numbers, patterns, and organizing. Very seldom does my mind relax. God has turned it into a jukebox of sorts, giving me songs day and night.

Aside from polar extremes, yes to nearly all. Including having Ehlers-Danlos, POTS and a few other comorbidities that come with it. Aside from chips being my former drug of choice, no food obsessions, thankfully. I have had a life of food sensitivities, which have only gotten worse. A blessing in disguise however, because I feel like I am becoming a light body.

Yes on friends, tho over their own insecurities. Sadly. I do agree on being an open book. I also have a terrible habit of interrupting, but, simply so my brain doesn't forget. Still, not cool on my part.

This slide I agree with less, although I do get tired of texting, and can't handle social media. I have gotten hopes up on friendships. I also don't believe in wearing five-year old gloves. I like adult conversations. Many don't, so they consider it a thought filter deficit.

Totally on background noise. I am guilty of thinking far too much on what I want to say, although getting better at letting that go.

I have come to love being home, but I do enjoy adventure and socializing. Since mother's death in 2004, my six siblings found it easy to leave me out, being the only childless one of them all.

I do feel dread and look forward to being home after an upcoming long day event. I will say, dark energies have a way of giving me the feeling of doom mentioned in an earlier slide. They also try scaring me nights before I have a long drive ahead.

Yep on prep and a tad OCD on time, simply because I try to avoid stress and anxiety.

Well, seeing much, I know I am being watched from above. We all are. And while many have a public and private switch, not me.

Having multiple invisible dis-abilities, I am forced to rest, which is nice. Although, rarely do I literally do nothing. I need to keep busy, even if just learning something on YouTube or drawing my visions.

Not a fan of shopping, so yes. Also not a fan of wasting my time, so I do try to get in and out to prevent feeling overwhelmed and/or overstimulated with sights, sounds, scents and energy.

Oy vey on that first one. Yes, but POTS causes extremes in temps and I oftentimes smell what isn't there. Tank top and shorts are most comfy, so yes.

I seriously do not want to be the norm. Can you say, BORING? I prefer being the Pippy Longstocking of the group than looking like I just stepped out of a cookie cutter.

As for taking things to heart, others viewpoints/opinions, not so much anymore. Thank God I've grown much emotionally. I'd hate to be a child in an adult body.

I do get hurt when not appreciated, which happens often, but I've learned to not dwell on anything negative. Dark side loves to torment us and snowball our thoughts. I choose to stop them in their tracks.

I wish I wasn't so sensitive to substances or to people in self inflicted pain. Sensitivity to substances can wipe me out. While leaving someone's house can make me feel sick. Or sad.

Yes on those last two points. Having my father die when I was nine, my childhood ended. My mother kept me from much, which hurts to think about, but she needed me.

I am thankful for the good, bad and ugly of my life because it has made me grow beyond much of what the above slide talks about. Life's too short to not be yourself.

I could cross out the first three. The only thing I used to literally freak out about was earthquakes. Moving to Arizona for nine years cured me of that.

I used to feel half my age. Diet and detox have helped the outside, but the pain of a birth defect, injuries surgeries, and missing body parts can do a number on appearance. Especially since I can't take medication. However, I flex, adapt, survive, and remain happy.

Long jokes go over my head. They gotta be one liners. I will never understand why far too many choose to be dishonest, hateful, and plain ol' miserably mean.

This slide sounds like a total Sanguine personality with high highs and low lows. That is not me. No drama queen here. The upside to lots of setbacks is I handle things better than anyone I know. Besides, life was not meant to easy. I love learning from the inside out.

Nah on first two, totally on songs. The rest, yes, no or sometimes.

Some simple things like tech can cause a hardship. I loved driving. The bigger the better. Nowadays, far too many crazies on the road. Most of these don't really apply, except mundane tasks. Heck, even golf and yoga bored the heck out of me. I do love making things and tend to be good at tinkering, so no anxiety there. Downside has been doing more and better than many men. UGH! They just don't make men like they used to. I know there are exceptions, but I do get tired of wearing the brains, boobs and balls at times.

Only once did I go out with mismatched shoes. Too funny, thankful no one noticed. I've always had rhythm and been coordinated, so no on dance and moves. Sometimes being too organized does cause me to forget. And yes on grocery store or any store.

WOW, I can only hope I did not bore anyone. Since I get bored easily, I try to do my best to not take anyone's time, but do feel this is an important topic.

Whether one is autistic or spiritually awake, there are blessings in both. I will say, you've got to be ready for the latter because it can get scary. When our purpose is great, dark side has a way to trying to stop us. The Netflix show, El Rey is a great example. Had I not become fearless, "they" would have done me in. If you've never experienced hypnagogia/sleep paralysis, that's nothing compared to what dark energies can and will do.

Interestingly, today I came across an interview with the "Q-Shaman" guy, Jacob Chansler from January 6th prisoners. Not only was he found to be autistic, he is quite awake and wise. Thankfully because 10.5 months in solitary confinement could have done him in. I know my six months alone on a mountain in 2014 was brutal, painfully lonely, and boring with next to no internet, but it was what my soul needed.

Thankful I've survived and grown from much. It's never too late.

"Let us learn to let go, to not allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by the circumstances and conditions of this world. Let us constantly remember that at the heart of ourselves, as at the heart of all human beings, there forever stands a silent and watchful guardian: the Master Within." ~Christian Bernard~

May all be blessed to find their true self. It helps to be in silence till it hurts.

Carmen